Here's your coffee review, soldier-style:
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**MISSION DEBRIEF: Operation Morning Thunder**
**Classification: HIGHLY CAFFEINATED**
Listen up, troops. I'm going to tell you about the day Red Contact coffee beans saved my life — or at the very least, saved my 0600 briefing from being an absolute disaster.
I was pinned down. Surrounded on all sides by a brutal enemy known only as "Monday." Morale was at an all-time low. Men were yawning. Someone had the audacity to wear slippers to the command