When I first removed the hat from its packaging, I got an enormous, almost painful erection, so I masturbated. Hard. After I cleaned up, I tried it on. Seeing myself in the mirror, I again got an enormous, almost painful erection. Again, maintaining my view of my new hat, I masturbated. Hard. When all was said and done, I ate a sandwich and took nap. It was magical.
10/10 would recommend.